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Monthly Archives: May 2017

In Which I Transform Tiredness into a Catastrophe Using Only the Power of My Own Mind

I’m tired. Which by itself is not a catastrophe. However, for me, tired tends to be accompanied by other, less benign thoughts and feelings. What happens is this: Notice urge to “rest my eyes” while standing in line at the grocery store/waiting for next client to arrive/attempting to wrangle screaming toddler/sitting on couch contemplating doing dishes/serving as jungle gym for climbing toddler. “Rest eyes” momentarily only to be jolted awake by nearly falling over. Think: I’m way too tired to do everything I need to do today, and I’m never going to be able to get everything done. Exhaustion and dejection creep in Think: I never finish anything. How am I ever going to be able to… write my novel/write consistently on my blog/make dinner/keep my house clean/catch up on paperwork/enjoy my life/complete anything in my life EVER, etc., etc., etc. Dejection begins to look like depression (of the miniature, not the clinical, variety). Watch a few episodes of Friends to take the edge off. Look at clock. Be Shocked and Appalled. Think: What have I done? The night is gone and…

That time I Fell into a Nihilistic Hellhole

If you’ve been hanging around Wonderland for a while, you might know I work as a therapist, in addition to caring for my daughter and pontificating to you all via THE INTERNET a couple times per week. Now, being a therapist involves a lot of sitting in stiff-backed chairs, mustache-twirling, pipe-smoking, and saying “mmm…mmmhmmm.” Just kidding. But seriously, I was wondering why my 1.5 year old daughter, Warrior Girl, says “uh huh” and “hmmm” all the time when my husband pointed out it is because I am a therapist. But really, being a therapist involves a whole lot of listening to things that are hard to hear, and a whole lot of sitting with people in their sadness, their anger, their despair. This is tough to do without a paradigm of life that can give meaning and/or coherence to the vast suffering we therapists (and humans in general) encounter on the daily. So not long ago, I was skating through life, not really paying attention, when suddenly I woke up and found myself in a nihilistic hellhole of absurdity. Yes, yes, I’m sure…