Why and Why Not to Nurse for Comfort, Part 1

Many times I have read or heard people say that you need to breastfeed your baby for comfort because comfort is a need for a young baby. I absolutely agree. And disagree. Allow me to explain.

Comfort is a need for a young baby, and an older baby, and a toddler. AND there are many ways to comfort a baby other than breastfeeding. Unless, of course, they are hungry, in which case it is called feeding your hungry baby, which is pretty much a non-negotiable need.

But that’s not what we’re talking about, is it?

We’re talking about nursing a baby who is crying or upset, who is not hungry.

Should you do it?

That depends. There are some great reasons to do so, and some really not great reasons to do so. There are also some reasons you might regret it, as well as reasons you might regret not doing it.

Clear as mud? In this post, we’ll start with…

Good reasons to comfort nurse:

• You want to!
• Your milk supply is not yet established.
• You’ve tried other ways to soothe Baby and they aren’t working.
• Baby is hurt or sick.
• It’s really hot and you want to provide extra hydration.
• You want to nurse your baby to sleep because you enjoy the cozy time together.
• You don’t want to nurse your baby to sleep anymore but you are way too exhausted to do anything about it at the moment.
• You worry your milk supply is inadequate and/or you want to increase your milk supply.
• You feel it is good for your baby.
• You find it helps you bond with Baby.
• Your baby’s weight gain is not as high as it should be.
• Baby is having a hard time getting adequate nourishment during each nursing session due to bad latch, difficulty breastfeeding, etc. and thus needs more frequent feeds.
• You have a plugged milk duct and need to nurse asap to try to unplug it.
• You are too tired to try other means of comforting baby at the moment.
• Baby is crying and you really need her to be quiet right now for some reason.
• You really aren’t sure if your baby is hungry or not, so you want to err on the side of caution.
• Your baby is a newborn (they tend to nurse all the time).
• It fits with your parenting philosophy.

(If any of the above apply to you, and you don’t already, you might want to take up breastfeeding for comfort. Especially if your milk supply is lower than you want or your baby is not gaining weight very well).

And…. the not good reason to comfort nurse (I can only think of one):

• Because, although your nipples are chapped and bleeding, and you are bone-tired and filling with resentment, and someone else is there who could soothe your baby, you believe that not nursing for comfort will cause your innocent baby to have an insecure attachment to you and thus grow up to be a porn star.

Because, Mama, it’s the meeting your child’s needs (including feeding them when they are hungry) and providing a safe, loving environment thing that creates a secure attachment. When your infant needs comfort, comfort them. Whether or not you do it with the “bobby” (as Warrior Girl used to call it) is up to you.

There are many ways to comfort crying, not hungry babies: swaddling, wearing them and walking around, taking them for a ride in the car or stroller, taking them outside for fresh air, snuggling, baths (for some babies), bouncing while holding them, making sure they are a comfortable temperature, changing their diaper, giving them a binkie (if your milk supply is established and they are a good nurser), swaying, rocking, singing, white noise, kissing, talking, and going somewhere dark and quiet if they are overstimulated.

If you try a few of the above strategies and they don’t work, well, Baby just might be  hungry after all. Even if they ate 20 minutes ago. OR they are just so overtired and overstimulated that nothing but nursing will calm them/get them to sleep at that point. Regardless of the cause, at this point, I sit my behind down and nurse immediately because I don’t want to spend an hour trying to get my little one to sleep.

Stay tuned for next week’s post on the potential downsides of comfort nursing and the potential downsides of NOT comfort nursing. Because nothing is ever simple when it comes to parenting, is it?

I say, if anyone claims to provide easy answers, nod, smile, and DO NOT provide your credit card info. In the meantime, parent the way that works for you and your baby.

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Did/do you nurse your babies for comfort? Did you find it worth it? What are your favorite non-breastfeeding ways to comfort your little ones? How do you find the courage to follow your heart when it comes to your parenting philosophy? Please, share in the comments below!

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*Featured image credit here.